The Chunky Man’s Guide to Fashion

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Yes, the rumours are true; dadbod is officially an acceptable shape for us blokes to have. So unbutton your skinny jeans and let out your guts, because all of the major fashion magazines are telling us that we’re allowed to not fit the norm.

Personally, I think this new ‘acceptance’ is a colossal insult to men like me who have been struggling with their weight for years now. Finally, we’ve been accepted as if we were refused to gain access to their so-called ‘exclusive world’ in the first place. Well, I hope you join me in telling them to stuff their ‘dadbod’ where the sun doesn’t shine. I certainly don’t want to be part of this fad and neither, should you. Therefore, if you want to look great and dress for your ‘big bones’ then let me show you how. And may I have it known for the record; I do not discriminate against naturally thin or muscled men either; I’m sure you all can benefit from the following advice. 

River Island Longline blazer, £75

First thing’s first, make sure you get the right fit. It’s so important to make sure that your clothes fit you properly; if they’re too baggy you’ll look larger,too small and you’ll look like you’re busting out of them like the hulk. You must try to find a tailor or a shop that has a measuring service, like John Lewis,  who can advise you. On the other hand, if you’re uncomfortable with the idea of someone measuring you, take a look online at guides on how to measure yourself; you can then venture out with an informed decision on what to buy.

The next subject can be quite a personal one; moobs. Yes, it’s something that not many blokes like to talk about but it can knock your confidence when wearing just a simple shirt, therefore, my suggestion is to distract the eye by opting for a shirt with pockets on the chest area. The extra detailing distracts the eye and it won’t leave you feeling self-conscious. Also, another great tip is to stand and walk with a straight back – you instantly lose 10 pounds with great posture.

If you can, try to keep your shirt untucked, by doing this the shirt will skim your body (if you have a good fit), rather than mould around your curves.

Well groomed facial hair is a great way to define your jaw line. Make sure you go to a decent barber and ask for help in choosing a style.

Autograph V-neck cashmere sweater, £89, Marks & Spencer

V-necks are great and while you’re at it, you may want to unbutton your top 2 buttons. This ‘plunging neckline’ will fool the eye and make your neck look elongated and thinner.

I have always found that scarves mask a multitude of sins, therefore get yourself one and drape strategically. Personally, I choose to wear a lightweight, wide scarf but don’t mummify yourself in one, just use it to add texture and length.

Following on with length, I’ve always found that if you are a tall bloke, like me, the new longline shirt trend is great. Not only is it so long that there’s no need to tuck it in, but it can be very slimming.

And there you have it, a few simple tips that aren’t going to break the bank but will make you look and feel confident.

Words: James Tissiman

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